Is There A Road I Should Follow

As I lay on my bed the afternoon after the accident, I look up into the clear blue sky, through the panel of glasses in the corner of my room, i was thinking. being less able and tired got me into a lot of soul search again.I was thinking of prolly the one love that i'll never get over.at least not with ease.
As it seems, the next day will be her birthday, on a very Chinese New Year. New Year Girl, hah. and i 've got nothing, no movie, no gift, no fancy dinner, no going out, no yummy cake to sing a happy birthday over.and it would have been awkward and will cause trouble to her if I do all of these..

Then back in the room, the guitar is just staring onto my face, as I heal the wounds with iodine and love. since i cant do much, why don't I let the feelings combust on the axe?the least i could do for her birthday,yeah.Music actually expresses myself better than I could with words. So the guitar got into my arms, with her cuddling my heart...the music flows.

the mood fell nicely, blue sky, through the window pane.birds flying by.and the strings are ringing.

So here is the song.I name it Watching The Sky With You. as I've always been dreaming into the sky either from my room, through that glass panel or anytime when my eyes caught sunsets and beautiful, dreamy atmospheres...How i wish she's there with me each time.this doesn't need much explaining.I'll just let the title and the music do them.I really hope they do...
It's a first-take record to keep the emotions there, and surely there are mistakes with notes and progressions,and would be kinda boring, i guess.I'm no pro after all. but its an emotion based playing.


This is at most what i could and capable of giving.a gift of feelings.
Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine's,yeah
For You = ]

watch the sky with me

Chinese [Highway To Heaven] New Year

Finally back after approx two weeks of absence and obscurity plus two weeks of monitor breakdown.yeah...i've got more pixels and more resolution into my eyes now...thanks to some Samsung monitor.ahh.
the stuffs that i wanted to blog about withing this period,got all jammed up in a brainscrew.Man, lets do some major recap.


So huh.as far as i recall, the best thing that happened to me - accident'ed' on the eve of Chinese Damn New Year.i did a solo tank on 4 bikes.hah.It was a morning and i was on my way to Queensbay to shop for something and catch Red Cliff I.and so it happened that i was on the highway in the motorcyclist lane.a god damn small lane with width for 2 bikes only.i was speeding at around 60kph or more up a slope.then on my way down which i cant see there's this dude who slowed down drastically on the lane.the 3 bikes behind himdid some deepshit braking and got so close and they are clumped up so closely together.And me being the projectile here from behind...oh tried braking my best, and i avoided the 3 back bikes but whacked up the front slowed down dude.Sometimes skills cant beat a gangbang.ahhh
And thus , ended up rolling on the divider, and wth, my helmet wasnt even scratched.

I felt no pain but i see the blood, so i just got up to help the other guy.he was half pinned by his ex5.i think he got a ram on the chest.He called up his son to come who was a freaking moneylender.He gave me his card some U.S. Credits.wtf.luckily he's not the 'ah kau' type of ah long ppl.so stopped a car and send the guy to hospital and agreed to settle it another day as it will be CNY the next day.

And i got home.and the bruises and scratches just now begin to bare their teeth on me.wah, this must have been my worst injury so far.I looked at myself as i sat on my bed.i've got multiple bruises around the knee and a quite deep hole.i dont see red there, i see white.F.theres another at my pelvis, near the kidney area.deep scratches on my right palm, which is the most irritating.It looked like a palm muting freak accident and itwas kinda cool.hhaahaha.
I got a knock on my left wrist too which still prevail till today... fear that it will never heal fully.

and i swear iodine aint no fun

fuxness.i spent most of cny in bed and walking around the house.maybe it's a bless.I looked into myself more with these.I touch and play the guitar more.the Guitar gave me bliss again in yet another time.

Okay.lets get over with the accident.

Went to afew ppl's house during the new year too. First was Jonathan Lim's.Witnessed lion dance there...so coincidental.then got stuffed with a nasi kandar-like meal.spent time there talking with jona and jared.then dispersed.and regrouped again with jared, wheen and andrew at Strike I.and yeah a new game was introed by wheen, Left4Dead.more on this later.

cast for Left4Dead

Second would be Khang Yang's place.we watched Red Cliff II that night then went CC till around 5am and then crashed into KY's sis's room.oooh.gambled some there then continued to Nando's in the morn.wah.

Then on the weekend will be Chia Haw's house.this time gambled kaokao and won around 15 bucks.owning.

more coming.

New Dawn's Light - El Merchant El Captain

Its 11th of January and Happy New Year folks. And so its gonna be as everybody plan their 'azam baru', I'm gonna own the world this year.at least i'm planning...its a feel good thing.

So this is how its gonna be.This is the STPM year for me.The king of the shit.The shit is the exam. After the ride of last year and busted balls as i went into form 6...its gonna be different a little this year.maybe a lot. I'm seated in the middle this year, away from my traditional back or side seats. Full of bookies around me...a little pump on inspiration and motivation.i'm glad i'm in my class, perhaps my class and 6RB are the liveliest in F6.no doubt.the dramas the gossips, human conjured weapon/armor against human. i was in at the center of the headline once i guess...maybe still a little today.all the small things.and some big things.I love them all.

And studies shall be that and that. school's gonna intro a string orchestra and i'm in it. on choice whether to take violin or cello.so i've got into a string ensemble, a jazz ensemble and a school band. deepthroat into music.not forgetting the Strat at home.
I'm quite freakin loaded now.got Pinhorn to manage and band formation to get ready.and the bio folio aint helping...Hope all of them won't collapse on me.Gonna be the merchant and the captain...bring the shit.

My core for this month is back to the soul-caster, guitar cryer and soothsayer Buckethead. After the my first premier of Jared's Guns N' Roses's Chinese Democracy in my car, that kill switched solo on There Was A Time...and so there.The shackler is back for revenge. For some reason Buckethead stands out of the rest of my guitar heroes and rockers.He's that masked, KFC bucket headed man. The absence of expression on the face, makes me wonder more.A few years back i dont believe this person exist, major break on me. The epitome of making the guitar speak for itself.Make it scream, make it sing, make it roar, make it whisper, make it cry.


There will be another tribute for Mr.Buckethead here.


Sometimes i felt like putting on a mask too, hiding the expressions just for myself.

So come on 2009.got lots of music to play.lots of heart graveyards to fill.balls to bust.

The I wants.
- own form 6
- get into as many music projects as possible for enjoyment
- make people that i love happy
- no more 'shy shy' attitude
- learn to read score for guitar.this is the imba shit

the casters

Left: 'my yet to be named' (project name: Third Jesus) squire stratocaster
Right: Jared's Rose - squire telecaster

The Dawn Will Have It's Burn

I wanna try something other than the usual Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. So i got another from Tony Bennett.Let the music load.


Not the last, Merry Christmas. and woah...December has been busy and and the last post was around three weeks back on kerachut. After the sweet November, December just exploded onto life.and shit this suppose to be a 5am Christmas Eve or it's kiss of dawn post but i left the computer on hanging waiting for me, while i fly in my dream. I'm slowly turning nocturnal and this will really take its toll on me when school reopens.games are big time losers, taking shit out of my time, the fun part is playing with friends only.DotA...bluek.I'll rather play guitar really.

After this period of absence, i wanna write all out about my December activities but shit...i read Jared's post first, and i felt it will be lame to write another covering the same events. So go see Jared's. Basically I'm in all the activities except the pool days.I'm gonna talk bout the few recent ones and yeah i would love to talk about roti racist/mini at Argyll Road but....i'm feeling salty T_T So okay, come back. The latest gig with Jared and Wheen is Pessoc's Concert on the 23rd of December. Sponsored and exclusively for Texchem ppl...thanks to Jared's mum we got the invitation cards. they were playing Beethoven's famous No.9, the one with Ode To Joy. I'll say it's good, but I'm a noob in classical music...this is the first time I heard No.9 live with full fledged choir and voices. And i just like the way Malmsteen-Shimano conduct...yeah!he pumps up the crowd with his movements. And I look into the crowd...most people doesnt know the first two movements and they look bored, the dude beside me was sleeping.sigh. quite a few ppl i know were up there. A few band seniors were playing for the orchestra.Adelyn the violinist.some school fellows in the chorus...wth.Andrew Filmer headbanging violin.some USM ppl too. Saw a group of USM Jazz Band ppl after the show....prolly they had some friends onstage.Funny how i realise I'll be upstage with them on the 30th.hah.

As mention this was supposed to be the Eve post, so i'm gonna rip. the Christmas Eve night was spent in front of my computer desk.I'll start from 8 pm.i had a game of DotA with Jonathan...killed him in his fountain...ahh.Imba feeling.then he gotta go church for the Christmas mass. so i went get some winks on my bed, woke up at 9.30pm.when to my computer, which is by the window.the church in front of my house is beaming and the bells are tolling, I assume Jonathan to be in there. Heaven's Bell. was planning to go out and have supper but the roads are tight shit jammed. So i decided to have myself a merry little christmas at home.
I got myself Campbell soup, ribena and some Pringles. bring all of them to my desktop. and the atmostphere just highten up. everybody is busy in Garena.the church is singing mellowly. and my comp played Buckethead's Electric Tears album. Padmasana was the highlight.ooh...

Self made Ribena, Campbell Soup and Pringles

And once i was taught by someone to eat Campbell soup straight from the can. and yeah. I tried a few. and i tell ya what...it will taste better and more warmy if you heat up the can first.= ] so put it in an oven first or what.

And so I had myself a merry little Christmas.

And yeah..the next on my to do list will be

- 'Jazz Band Plays Medley' concert on the 30th. gonna have fun with the university people
- G3 footage at wheen's. plus Siren 'to be continued...'
- maybe kerachut again
- Bio folio crap
- maybe I'll try pool day at Jared's

A tribute to Hide, the passed guitarist of X-Japan. connected for Jared's post.the guitar pick given to me by Wheen 6 months ago.

love me.suck me.lick me.spank me

Hideto Matsumoto

for once in my life I'll get dreadlocks. watch out.


Merry Christmas buddies = ]

Marrow Of The Forest and The Kerachut Riders

The jungle trip proved to hold the truth.An initial fun or for me a trip for the heart, turn out to be mixed with some survival elements.should it be or shouldn't it be this way, i enjoyed the rush and adrenaline in it.I'll speak less and let the pics speak more.
The first day went through some twist of fate.the personnel alongside me are Edward Lee and Hong Chia Haw.kinda wierd because being the unsociable shadow of me, I'm camping with two dudes that i talk less than 5 minutes for over 5 years of secondary school.You guys, cheers and be cool,yeah.
the initial starting rendezvous time is at 12 pm.but due to some delay to buy stuffs and the long journey to Teluk Bahang, we ended up starting the hike at 5 pm.yeah a hill hike to Kerachut at 5 pm with loads suiting 6 persons carried by 3.i know its gonna be crappy to start hiking, but never the lest we continued.hah.The darkness shift over the light at around 7.30 and we were only halfway at the second shelter.So three of us decided and insane decision : overnight in the middle of the jungle.this is seriously the contigency plan...we took some effort to start a fire in the clearing.it's actually illegal to start a fire because its a taman negara but we did anyway or else we're gonna in pitch black and we've gotta barbecue something to eat.seriously almost backwoodsman style..and thus we we overnighted in the middle of the jungle.and worse of all, the pitch black darkness started to have its toll on my mind.i see things, flickers of light in the forest.and i see glowing trees and plants, what the hell,some mind games.immediately thought that someone is flashing light.really crappy darkness.Revelation = I'm afraid of the darkness, ghost, vampire and such.

a night in the jungle, thats the part i like the most about this trip.it felt really original anyway.and so we continue our hike the morning after.the heavy burden of my loads really didn't help either.I carried two full bags, a guitar and an ice box...the shoulders really felt like its at the edge of collapsing.fuh.we reached Kerachut after a 15 hour journey including the jungle night...fux yeah.And so we set up our camp site in an isolated part of the place but later on we were ask to move over to the designated camp site.ish have to pindah summore after our tiring trip through the jungle.and the trip moved on...we even decided to extend another day making it a 4 days and 3 nights camp.


the fateful axe by the entrance

all the back and shoulder breakers that dragged us into the dark

firing up a slow burn

entertainment in the dark jungle

the darkness is really intriguing

candle, chor tai ti and mamee

the light, mosquito coil and shoes( if can see)

finally the bridge to salvation after 15 hours

the tent, didnt spend too much time in there though

campbell soup cans torn open by insatiable hunger

to the dock, spend more time with the wild and open

A jellyfish seen in the water


some kind of sea level machine


bridgeway to paradise

shall be done again.another day

And so shall the trip be kept in the memoirs of the man himself.Jungle really shows the truth.More of it to come into the sanctum.

Noviembre IV - The Final and Jungle Nirvana

November is finally coming to an end. and finally when you catch the first glimpse of this scheduled post November would have come to the final. And so this shall be the last of the Noviembre series...a part of my life, a major one, half scraped onto this page. and at the same time, on the date this post is up, i'll still be in a jungle.yeah...i'm gonna end this month and start the next in the dense jungle near Pantai Kerachut.

The trip will be from saturday till monday.3 days 2 nights and three fellows only, not a scout troop or what.it's time for prophecies and revelations there.Its actually some kind of bio camp to get 25 specimens of insects and 25 of plants.gonna get real big stingy ones....not the likes of the household ka-chuak.but for me, it shall be more than that.

gotta put the flowers on the grave,
and start walking away,
pulling out the cross from the heart,
and sling up the guitar on the way.


The heart doesnt last forever.nothing last forever.even the cold november rain..

there's just this some kind of feeling in me that kept me from walking away.everytime i tried to walk i shall be pulled back to it. i just dunno bout it....maybe i'm pulled, maybe i just walked to it, maybe i just resist to walk away, maybe i cant.Maybe
And everytime, I roar to myself, 'I won't let this build up inside of me'.I roar it each time i'm at the breaking point and each time I escape by merely covering up with stuffs.By doing things.taking the axe and let it roll.get my speakers on high.binging myself out. and go hang in places that i can find serenity.Its much like heroin in my life, gotta suck on it to escape from truth.maybe i should kept being high on it.there's just too much shit in this world and i'm gonna step on it, squashing it one by one.pardon me

This jungle trip shall get my conscience clear.even though i doubted it.heh.so i'll just let the jungle speak for itself.And yes, three weeks ago.a revelation came, April has been returned.After spending almost 10 months on her, my heart has grow on to it.for your info, April is an acoustic classical guitar.the first guitar that i've actually 'owned'.i learned from it and through it, it made me realise that everything is possible.It's the guitar that i started out with, where i learn my first scale, my first song, my first lick, my first bend...and it has that distinct low mellow tone that is different from other acoustics.somehow it is the sound that will reach into the cavities of the heart.the one that you will actually feel nice and peaceful with.but now it's gone.thank you April for the memories that we have shared.I've no pictures or recordings to share, just memories.

The guitar rack shall be left incomplete.



So goodbye November...we shall come together again in a year to come

Jeesus shall rise again

I know its hard to keep an open heart,
when even friends seem out to harm you,
but if you can heal a broken heart,
wouldn't time be out to charm you.

Noviembre III - Thirty Minutes

What can 30 minutes do for you? today everything is possible.

there's a certain half an hour today that shined on my life, made the skies seems brighter and the sea in front looked calm and the trees along that highway beam with green.the Highway that i've frequently rolled on once...

I met a person in the lapse of thirty minutes. but it's not bout the time...I'm there just to see whether she's fine, she's alright.Yeah, person, you do look so fine.But down deep i know you ain't inside...there's just so much on your back.that saddens me.But worse of all is that i can't possibly remove it.the most I can and allowed to do is to stand by your side.

However there's still sunshine on you.i peeped and i saw it.
I'm running the same marathon as you did.







I don't know about heaven,
but i do believe in an angel.