Noviembre IV - The Final and Jungle Nirvana

November is finally coming to an end. and finally when you catch the first glimpse of this scheduled post November would have come to the final. And so this shall be the last of the Noviembre series...a part of my life, a major one, half scraped onto this page. and at the same time, on the date this post is up, i'll still be in a jungle.yeah...i'm gonna end this month and start the next in the dense jungle near Pantai Kerachut.

The trip will be from saturday till monday.3 days 2 nights and three fellows only, not a scout troop or what.it's time for prophecies and revelations there.Its actually some kind of bio camp to get 25 specimens of insects and 25 of plants.gonna get real big stingy ones....not the likes of the household ka-chuak.but for me, it shall be more than that.

gotta put the flowers on the grave,
and start walking away,
pulling out the cross from the heart,
and sling up the guitar on the way.


The heart doesnt last forever.nothing last forever.even the cold november rain..

there's just this some kind of feeling in me that kept me from walking away.everytime i tried to walk i shall be pulled back to it. i just dunno bout it....maybe i'm pulled, maybe i just walked to it, maybe i just resist to walk away, maybe i cant.Maybe
And everytime, I roar to myself, 'I won't let this build up inside of me'.I roar it each time i'm at the breaking point and each time I escape by merely covering up with stuffs.By doing things.taking the axe and let it roll.get my speakers on high.binging myself out. and go hang in places that i can find serenity.Its much like heroin in my life, gotta suck on it to escape from truth.maybe i should kept being high on it.there's just too much shit in this world and i'm gonna step on it, squashing it one by one.pardon me

This jungle trip shall get my conscience clear.even though i doubted it.heh.so i'll just let the jungle speak for itself.And yes, three weeks ago.a revelation came, April has been returned.After spending almost 10 months on her, my heart has grow on to it.for your info, April is an acoustic classical guitar.the first guitar that i've actually 'owned'.i learned from it and through it, it made me realise that everything is possible.It's the guitar that i started out with, where i learn my first scale, my first song, my first lick, my first bend...and it has that distinct low mellow tone that is different from other acoustics.somehow it is the sound that will reach into the cavities of the heart.the one that you will actually feel nice and peaceful with.but now it's gone.thank you April for the memories that we have shared.I've no pictures or recordings to share, just memories.

The guitar rack shall be left incomplete.



So goodbye November...we shall come together again in a year to come

Jeesus shall rise again

I know its hard to keep an open heart,
when even friends seem out to harm you,
but if you can heal a broken heart,
wouldn't time be out to charm you.